I know things could be worse. Things can ALWAYS be worse.
But right now is hard.
I don’t always feel like I’m in control of my emotions.
I’m not sleeping well.
Honestly, I’m angry and overwhelmed and sometimes I don’t even know why.
And I know that people are experiencing way worse, and way bigger emotions than me, too.
So, what do we do with all of this? With all this emotion spiraling inside us?
I’ll tell you what I want to do...
I want to binge eat junk food or drink a bottle of wine.
Or drown myself in tv shows that can help me escape reality.
Or perhaps buy some stuff online that I will inevitably regret.
That’s what my flesh wants to do right now... because this feels like too much and I want to numb it.
Instead, I’m trying something new.
I’m praying like King David.
I have been deep in the book of Psalms lately and it’s changed my life.
Because it’s taught me that no thought and no emotion is off limit for me to share with God.
I can candidly approach Him, take off my facade, and show Him it all.
I can cry, scream, and even doubt.
That’s what I’ve leaned from David.
You can see David jumping around from emotion to emotion.
He often ends with hope and speaking the powerful truth about God.. but sometimes He doesn’t.
Sometimes his prayer ends with darkness.
Sometimes mine do, too.
You can see David struggling with his doubt. He shares how much the grief hurts, but then he reminds himself (and God) who God is.
He processes through it.
He goes to God with all of it.
I think this is exactly how the Lord intended it to be.
Real relationship with Him means being real with Him in all our junk.
It’s so easy to want to just tap out of our feelings. It‘s certainly easier than sitting in them.
But long term, it’s so much healthier to confront what’s going on inside of you and to do so with God Himself.
Pray like David.
Cry out to God like David.
Not because it will make everything easier, but do it because it will make you closer to God.
He put it in the Bible for a reason.
I think it’s His way of giving us permission to be raw and honest.
Let’s take Him up on the offer.
~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog