It’s Hard to Believe, but How your Body Looks Won’t Actually Determine your Happiness
Updated: Jul 1
When you ask a woman why she is so miserable with her body, why she is obsessively dieting, or why her self-talk is very shame-based, you’ll often hear an answer like…
“I just want to be happy with myself.”
“I just want to feel better about me.”
I have absolutely felt this way before, too.
If I just lost a little more weight.. if I just got a bit more fit..
Then I’d be happy.
I’d feel good in my skin and my confidence would make life better.
Body image has been something I have researched a lot. It’s something I’ve struggled with, along with many of my clients, so I like to know the literature behind it.
You know what I’ve found?
The idea that how we look directly correlates with our happiness isn’t actually true.
There is no BMI that is associated with “the happy people.”
There is no body shape that has been linked to being more content in life.
And so it makes me so sad to think of how many of us are living in the lie that it’s not until we change how we look that we will be happy.
Ugh, it’s such a lie.
And so many women spend their life chasing an image they think will make them happy.
Yet, it’s the chase itself that’s stealing all their joy.
I think we all know deep down that our appearance isn’t where true joy lies.
But it’s hard to shake what the world tells us every single day.
Think about it:
Take a moment to think about someone you’ve met who truly exudes joy.
Someone who you can tell is content, peace-filled and just genuinely enjoying their life.
Would you say they are this way because of how they look?
I’m guessing not.
Remember the same is true for you.
You might find temporary confidence if you ever actually get your body to look like you *think* it should. But your body will change, and you will age. Everyone does.
I am all about taking good care of our bodies so we can live a full, healthy life.
But I know firsthand, no matter how hard you try to change your appearance, you will not find what you are looking for in your body.
Joy is found in Jesus.
It’s found in an identity of love and purpose.
It’s unshakeable and it will remain even when you’re old and wrinkly.
Don’t continue to let this lie run your life.
Don’t continue to look at your life as a “once I change how I look, then I will be ________ (you fill in the blank).”
No. Happiness and joy are not found in a certain body type.
They are found in a soul who knows its value.
You my friend, already have this value.
~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog