It’s hard to explain how much your home life growing up, even as a child, impacts you as an adult.
It’s hard to explain to people how things that may have happened so long ago still affect the way you see yourself, others, and God.
Sometimes we find that we are carrying baggage from things that happened in that home, even if we aren’t living there anymore.
It’s still in our hearts and mind.
Yet, other people may not understand.
Your spouse might think the things you do are weird. Maybe you love structure because your whole life was such chaos, that as much structure as possible feels good.
Your friends might wonder why you don’t talk about certain times in your life, or why you don’t open up about your family.
You might find you have a very difficult time trusting people because all you’ve ever seen and felt in relationships is betrayal.
And when you do get in relationships you might have a constant fear of them leaving. Because again, that’s what you know.
Things that make most people happy, like holidays and wedding might not be as joyful for you.
You may carry around some deeply rooted lies about who you are because of how you were treated.
You may struggle with insecurities because your flaws were always called out, but not your strengths.
I hope you know Jesus didn’t want you to experience that type of home. He didn’t intentionally put that pain in your life so you’d suffer.
But He did walk through those years with you.
Even if you didn’t know it.
Even if you didn’t feel it.
He was there when you hid in your room with headphones on so you couldn’t hear the fighting.
He was there with you when you felt worthless and unlovable.
He was there with you when they didn’t show up and you felt abandoned and neglected.
He was there with you experiencing the pain of the abuse you endured.
He never left.
He felt your pain.
He weeped with you.
And He also wants to heal you now.
Your past will never change. We can’t go back and redo it.
But your heart can.
The pain can change.
Jesus can change it.
That might mean you finally opening up about it. It might mean getting help.
Even if it was years and years ago, you can still break free from the lies and live a better life now. It’s never too late for Jesus to heal something in your heart.
Invite Him in. Because where He is, there is freedom.
And remember this: our homes on this earth are so temporary.
You have a home for eternity that isn’t broken at all.
It’s whole, complete.
Jesus will meet you there and you’ll get to spend eternity with Him.
No pain, no suffering.
That’s your real home.
~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog