There is nothing weird about wanting to be loved.
After all, love is exactly what we are created for.
I craved love and I searched for it for a long time.
I could feel the hole in my heart, and I thought the love of a man would be what filled it.
It didn’t, though.
Instead, I found myself hurt and hurting others. I was so confused as to why even once I got into a relationship, I wasn’t feeling better.
I started to feel like there was something inherently wrong with me. Maybe I wasn’t lovable. Maybe I couldn’t love. Or something was just broken inside of me.
Turns out, the problem was there was something missing.
I didn’t have the source of love Himself, so of course I didn’t feel whole.
This became so apparent to me when I finally met a man who knew and loved God.
My husband walked into my life and although he loved and pursued me so well, it was actually his pursuit of God that attracted me most to him.
When I would share my brokenness, he didn’t try to fix me on his own. But he would always keep pointing me to Jesus.
He would always remind me whose I was.
He didn’t shy away about talking about his faith. I remember thinking, wait, I can actually talk about Jesus with you?
He prayed for me and with me.
He was so different, and the light inside of Him shined so much brighter than anything I had ever seen.
I don’t know how or when it happened, but something started to shift inside me.
Although I loved my husband’s love, I began to crave God’s love more.
The hole in my heart finally started to fill up, in a way that wasn’t temporary. I felt fulfilled and felt like I had a purpose.
Maybe I would have gotten to this point all on my own.
But God used my husband to remind me where real love comes from.
My husband could show me Jesus’ love because he already knew it. He was already living in it.
And that’s how a man after God’s own heart forever changed mine.
By pointing me to Love Himself.
And once I met Jesus, there was no going back.
~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog