Dear Younger Self,
I used to think about you and wonder what the heck you were thinking.
I used to carry around shame from your poor decision making.
I used to worry that I could never be who I knew I was supposed to be.. because of you.
It took a long time to change my perspective of you.
But it has changed.
I know a lot of what you did, you did because you were broken.
I know that you felt alone and lost.
In fact, a lot of the time you felt completely out of control. You were scared.
I know that now.
That doesn’t justify any of your behaviors, but it does help me look at you with a different lens.
A lens of compassion.
And honestly?
God taught me how to do that.
On my own, I don’t think I ever could have changed how I felt about you.
But He could.
He began to whisper things to me.
He told me you were made new.
He told me that the you were His child, who He chose and who He adored.
He told me your identity didn’t lie in what you did, but what He did.
In His whispers, He told me you were forgiven.
And I began to believe Him.
I have changed a lot since I was you.
All because Jesus got ahold of my heart and transformed me.
And because of this, I wish the current me could find you and talk with you.
I wish I could hug you and share the words you needed to hear.
I wish I could make you avoid it all..
But honestly, everything you went through helps form you into the person God needed you to be.
God really does use it all, even your struggles, for His glory.
He redeems so much.
So younger self,
I want you to know I love you.
I am not ashamed of you anymore.
And I want you to know, although you remain far from perfect, you will be both proud and in awe of where we’ve gotten and what God does.
It’s better than you ever imagined.
I’ll honor you by continuing down His plan for us.
Love,
Your older self