Today I was trying to identify how I’m doing with all that’s going on in the world and in my own life.
Honestly, the best feeling I could put to it is “numb”.
I don’t have the energy to be as anxious anymore.
I don’t feel angry, because I’ve found it often just leads me to sadness.
I’m not surprised anymore, either.
Just numb.
To be honest, sometimes I don’t want to engage with the outside world anymore.
Because it’s too dang heavy.
And each time I do engage it feels like bricks are building up on my chest.
I start to feel so negative and helpless.
So the idea of just staying isolated to stay away from it all feels safest.
And being numb feels like a better option than feeling everything.
I’ve talked before about being an empath, and I know many of you know exactly what it’s like to not only feel your own emotions, but other people’s, too.
In my lifetime, I don’t believe there has been a time when it’s felt harder to be an empath than right now.
It’s so daunting and it can actually feel scary to be consumed by all the emotions spinning wildly around us.
But fellow “big-feelers”, we need to remember those emotions are not ours to take on.
We do not need to carry the world on our shoulders, because we can’t.
It will crush us.
We can take steps to care for ourselves and our families, we can pray and surrender all the emotions and burdens to God...
But we can’t carry it all.
Turning towards numbness also isn’t the best option.
Because when we numb the hard feelings, we also numb the life-giving ones.
We miss out on joy.
So friend, take a look at what you are carrying right now.
If it’s out of your control, imagine yourself literally taking it off of you.
Lay it down elsewhere. Give it to Jesus.
Breathe and remind yourself that right now, you are okay.
You are going to be okay in the future, too.
Remember, it’s not always going to feel this way.
This isn’t your forever.
But even in the emotional chaos, God’s peace can meet you.
Hold on to your faith. Hold on to what you know is true.
And practice letting go of the rest.
It’s never been all yours to manage.
~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog