It’s Okay to Struggle, But it Doesn’t Justify Hurting Others.
I am not exactly a party to be around when I am struggling.
Stress and anxiety don’t bring out my fun side.
I find myself easily irritable.
I snap easier.
I don’t show gratitude like I’d like to.
It’s not pleasant for anyone, or me.
As a therapist, I work with people who are struggling, and I hear them say similar things everyday.
Struggling with anything- mental health, relationships, life transitions, etc., is freaking HARD.
I like to remind myself and my clients that it’s very okay not to be okay.
It’s okay to be sad, scared, angry, and hurt. We are emotional beings.
But something I’m trying to work on, and something I think many others could benefit more from to, is a simple truth:
Our struggles do not make it okay to hurt other people.
I’ve heard many, many times people say things like, “My anxiety made me do this.”
“I had a hard day so I said these things.”
“I only did this because I was so stressed.”
I’ve been there, done that.
I still do sometimes.
But... we can’t blame anxiety for us cussing someone out.
We can’t blame stress for us belittling someone.
We can’t blame the past or the present on how we are hurting others.
Even in the struggle, we are responsible for how we treat people.
Of course we will have bad days.
But it’s so important we learn how to deal with emotions so we don’t leave wounds on other people.
Be honest. Tell people, “I’m really struggling right now and having a hard time being patient and kind.”
Set boundaries. Let people know you might need a little space or time, because you don’t want to blow up on them.
And if you do, which at some point happens to all of us, it’s important to apologize.
Struggling is hard.
Grace and forgiveness are an absolute necessity in this life.
But we should try not to let our own struggles become something that hurts those around us.
Oh, and by the way?
It’s okay to not let those who are struggling in your life continuously hurt you, too.
~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog