Jesus, Help Clean Out the Resentment in my Heart
All I heard was a certain persons name, and I found myself thinking, “yuck”.
“Yuck” is the word my brain chose to assign to another human.
I wish I could say that rarely happens, and this was the first time, but it’s not.
I have negative feelings towards people, some I know and some I don’t, and what comes with that is a lot of judgment.
I think if we are honest, we all do this to some degree.
But the thing I always recognize is that when I have bitterness towards someone, or look “down” on their character, I never ever feel better about myself.
In fact, if I really pay attention, I can see how resentment and bitterness turn me into someone I also don’t like very much.
I end up casting out negative energy that could be used to enjoy life and love others well.
The truth is, sometimes we aren’t going to like or enjoy certain people, we might even get really hurt by them or be pretty appalled by how they act.
We might feel justified in judging them because… Just look at what they are doing!
We often forget that resentment and judgment are some of the enemy’s easiest entries into our hearts. He uses it to steal so much from us.
Bitterness is literally one of his very own tools that he loves us join in on.
But that’s far from the heart of Jesus.
Think about it, if there is anyone who would be justified in judging people, and feeling resentment towards humans.. it’s Jesus.
But He chose the opposite.
He is the opposite.
I know it’s hard, very hard sometimes, but we can choose the opposite, too.
Not on our own, but with Jesus’ help we can surrender over resentment and judgment and experience freedom from it.
And friend, the freedom really does feel good.
Even if the person never changes.
Even if we have to put up a lot of boundaries with them or forgive them from afar.
Even if we never receive an apology.
Even if the choices they make are terrible.
It’s really not ours to determine what they deserve or who they are.
God will sort that out.
So if you are like me and you struggle with this, ask Jesus for His supernatural ability to help cleanse your heart of the judgment and resentment.
It’s heavy and it’s not just impacting the other person, it’s deeply impacting us too.
He somehow manages to look at us with eyes of unconditional love, grace and forgiveness, even when we don’t deserve it.
We’ll never do it perfectly like Him, but we can aim to live in the ways He modeled for us.
I pray that the next time encounter someone I don’t particularly enjoy, my thought of “yuck” will turn into “God’s child.”
They are His creation.
A product of His love.
And luckily, so am I.
~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog