Here I am at the well again.
I didn’t think I’d be here so soon, because I know better.
Jesus, you’ve told me over and over that this doesn’t work.. this won’t last.
But here I am, so thirsty, and still filling up my jar with the water I know won’t satisfy me.
I scoop to fill my jar with the fleeting things of this world that my flesh desires.
A fake image.
Striving for perfection.
Unhealthy coping behavior.
Changing myself to be liked.
I scoop these things up because they temporarily relieve the emptiness in my heart.
You’ve already told me, Jesus.
You’ve met me at this well many times.
You’ve explained that this water will always leave me thirsty.
But here I am again, hoping this time it lasts.
Yet, even as I scoop and drink, I know you still meet me at the well.
You sit with your daughter until I’m ready to look you in the eyes and acknowledge what I’m doing.
You continue to remind me that you are the living water my soul so desperately needs.
The kind of water that would allow me to never thirst again.
It’s at the well, at this place that my failures and sin is so evident...
It’s here that I’m met with a grace and love that doesn’t even make sense.
You keep reminding me that the answer is you.. and that you actually want to satisfy my soul.
I know I’m here again, Jesus.
But you are, too.
I hate that I keep coming back to the well when I already have the water I need.
But I’m so thankful you don’t give up on me.
I will set down my jar once again.
I will recognize that you are what I need.
~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog