Ugh, life.
There are so many things going on outside of us that are difficult.
So many circumstances and people that are hard to deal with, and cause us a lot of distress.
But if I’m honest, and maybe if you are honest too, a lot of my issues are stemming from within.
In fact, I’m starting to recognize how I am a big part of my own problem.
Sometimes, I make myself miserable.
My thoughts lead to behaviors that lead to shame and the cycle feels never ending.
Suddenly I’m snapping on my husband because I’m overwhelmed with work.
Or I’m assuming my friend is mad at me because I’m insecure.
Or I feel consumed by scary thoughts about my future and my loved ones because of all the crap I’m taking in online.
I want to blame other things.
I want to point and say “this here is the issue!”
But in all these cases, the root of the problem is me.
I think we all like to look outside of us to find blame.
But very often, the issue is something happening inside.
Selfishness.
Too high of expectations.
Perfectionism.
Not wanting to let go of a victim mentality.
Fear that leads to wanting control.
Emptiness.
Negative thought spirals.
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it really is our circumstances that are hurting us.
Sometimes we really are put in horrible situations and treated badly, and that’s not our fault.
But even in those cases, sometimes it’s our own thoughts that keep us hurting long after the circumstance is over.
I just wonder how much healthier this world would be if we all took the time to check in with ourselves.
To see how our responses could be hurting us. And others.
What I’ve found in my own life is that healing often comes when I acknowledge how I’m playing a role in my own hurting.
And learning to get out of my own way.
Because taking responsibility for myself is something I do have control over.
Then I’m able to honestly look at my heart and show it to God, saying, “Lord, help me rid myself of me.”
That’s the key.
Less of me, more of Jesus.
I will never get it perfect. Jesus doesn’t expect me to.
He doesn’t expect you too, either.
But He does want us to live with Him flowing through us.
I know it sounds weird, but sometimes it’s ourselves we need freedom from.
The good news?
Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
So as I empty myself of me, I let Him pour into me more of Him.
~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog