Updated: Nov 21, 2020
Every night I lay with my son in bed and watch him fall asleep. It’s easily the most precious part of my day.
It’s also the time I talk with God the most.
For some reason, I get so sentimental and emotional at this time each night. And I end up asking God a lot of questions, usually about motherhood.
Tonight as I laid next to my boy, I looked at his sweet, peaceful face and felt overcome with my love for him. The kind of love that hurts and sometimes feels more like grief than something good.
I found myself asking God, why? Why do you make our hearts love them so much, just for them to grow up and leave?
I laid there and waited. And finally God responded.
“Your babies weren’t created for you.”
God... forgive me, but I didn’t like that answer. Not at all.
But I decided to make my stubborn brain stop for a second, and think about what my role is as a mom.
My role is to give my babies part of my DNA, to give them a home to grow in before they enter the world on their own, and to guide, teach and love them through their years.
My greatest role as their mom is not for our identities to become tied together, but for them to know their identity is in God.
My role is to raise them for Him.
They weren’t created for me. It’s true.
They were created for and by Jesus. I’m just the lucky one He assigned the task of parenting them.
The hardest truth to think about is that our babies are not our own. God is the one who thought of them before time. He formed them in our womb.
They are His first.
Even though that’s a hard pill to swallow, I find comfort in the fact that there is no one else’s I would rather have them be.
They are in good, great, the best, hands.
And remember, mama, you were created to be a mom, but also a daughter of God with a purpose and plan that is beyond just motherhood.
You were created for Him, too.
~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog