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Writer's pictureKelli Bachara

Sometimes Pain isn’t Visible From the Outside, So Believe People When They Say They’re Hurting.


Not all pain is visible.


Someone can be struggling severely, but we’d never know it by looking at them.


Because sometimes our biggest battles lie between our ears, in our brain, where no one else can see it or understand it.


Anxiety, depression, self-hatred, paranoia, insecurities, rejection or shame... just to name a few.


It can feel like a war field in your mind, and it can get so exhausting to have to constantly battle.


It’s scary because it can feel incredibly isolating.

And you might wonder how you’ll ever be freed from this internal prison.


Internal struggles are as real as a struggle you can see on the outside.


So, if someone comes to you and tells you they are struggling, please don’t shrug it off.


Even if they look like they have it all together.

Even if you think they have it better than you do.


Even if you don’t understand why they are struggling.


Because it takes guts to share what’s going on inside.


It’s so vulnerable and exposing.


To be met with an eye roll, or a “you’re fine” can feel so invalidating. It can cause a person to close up and never want to reopen.


So, even if you don’t understand what someone is going through or why they are going through it, it would feel so good for them to hear you say, “I believe you.”


You don’t need to fix them, because you can’t.


Just let them know you hear them.


Let them know that they are worth pursuing the help they need.


Pray for them, encourage them, and if it feels appropriate, share with them your struggles, too.


I’m convinced what so many of us need is just more connection and to know we aren’t walking this life alone.


Stand beside those who are hurting, even if you can’t see it.


Believe them when they tell you.


You might give them just enough encouragement to keep going.


~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog

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