Tonight I went to a restaurant with my family and we got seated next to two middle aged women.
Guys, I love observing people. To the point that I forget that I’m actually with my own family and find myself emerged in someone else’s conversation. It’s a problem.
But tonight I couldn’t help it, these women were talking loud. And once you hear something it’s hard (impossible) to tune it out.
Anyways, I could tell these women were old friends. They knew everything about each other’s family, jobs and relationships.
They were sitting there sipping their drinks and that’s when it happened.
One of the women decided it was time to be honest with her dear friend.
I heard her start by saying “I know you won’t want to hear this” and then proceeded to tell her friend why she believed the guy she was dating wasn’t right for her.
She boldly stated that she was worried about her friend and that she could tell he was tearing her down. She wasn’t herself lately. She explained in detail what bothered her and how her friend deserved better.
I (secretly) watched as the other women listened. I could tell it was hard for her to hear as tears filled her eyes.
But she was nodding her head in agreement. I heard her say something like “I know you’re right.”
And dang it, I couldn’t help but think how much we all need a friend like that.
The one who will tell us the truth when no one else wants to be the “bad guy”.
The one who is more concerned about our wellbeing than they are concerned about not upsetting us.
The one who knows us well enough to notice that we are in a hard spot, but also knows we are strong enough to get out of it.
The one who isn’t going to sit by and watch us go into a dark place.
...Not without saying something, at least.
But I also realized that not just anyone can speak truth into our life and have us actually hear it. Like really listen to it and take it to heart.
This woman has probably shown up for her friend time and time again. They have a history. She’s probably proven herself loyal.
I’m guessing her friend knew her motive for saying these things was nothing other than love for her, because love is what has been displayed over and over in their friendship. I could see it between them.
We all need friends who will speak truth to us even when it hurts.
But we will be more likely to actually listen to the friend who we know is there out of genuine love, not because they want to tell us how we are wrong or act like they are better.
We know they are there because of love.
Let’s be these kinds of friends.
And let’s thank the ones who have done this for us.
Because they are such a blessing.
~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog