• Kelli Bachara

The Guilt We are Putting on Ourselves is too Much. We can’t Do it All.


My kids have been watching more tv than usual, because I’ve been too exhausted to play with them as much. It shouldn’t be the end of the world, but I feel an insane amount of guilt from this.


Us women talk a lot about mom guilt.

It’s something that runs rampant in our lives.


Lately though, I’ve realized the guilt we experience is much more than just mom guilt.


The guilt sounds something like this:


I haven’t spent quality time with my husband because when we finally get a moment, there is so much to do around the house. Or I just want to veg out and watch TV.

Hello, Wife Guilt.


I haven’t been making the time to work out or meal plan and I feel bad about how I look. My husband probably isn’t even attracted to me anymore.

Hello, Body Guilt.


I haven’t responded to my friend’s text about coming to her party because I honestly don’t know if I can find a babysitter or if I will even have the energy to be social. I’m so lame now.

Hello, Friend Guilt.


I’m not making enough money or spending enough time at work to do as well as I want to. If only I could concentrate better and had more time.

Hello, Career Guilt.


I never sent my cousin a happy birthday card, never sent a gift to my niece, and haven’t brought a meal over or checked on my sick aunt in weeks.

Hello Family Guilt.


This might sound familiar to you, too. In fact, I bet you could add more to the list.


Guilt is weird.


I think sometimes we use it as a way to motivate us to try harder. But that does NOT work long term.


Guilt doesn’t actually help us be a better mom, wife, friends, employee, etc.


Instead, guilt can quickly lead us to burn out and feeling stretched too thin.. which actually can cause us to be worse at these things.


No one expects you to be perfect (and if they do, they must be a pretty disappointed person in life).


It’s time to show yourself a little kindness, friend.


These wild expectations are draining us and making it difficult to pour into others.


Check your priorities and spend quality time there.


Do the best you can and let the rest go.


You will mess up, we all do. No need for guilt, sister!


And don’t forget to actually enjoy your life. This life isn’t about to-do lists and accomplishing things, it’s about connection and love.


Make that your priority if you haven’t yet. You will live a much more joy-filled life!


~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog

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