“I could never forgive them.”
I’ve heard this so many times. Usually from people who’ve really been hurt.
The thing about forgiving someone is that it can feel like we are letting them off the hook.
Like we are saying, “ I’m forgiving you now because I’m over it and what you did was okay.”
We feel like if we forgive, that means we should be healed from it.
But sometimes we simply aren’t.
Sometimes trauma from what someone did gets stuck in our body and gets re-triggered without our consent.
Sometimes we don’t function as we did before it happened. We can’t go back to how life used to be.
Sometimes there are real wounds that haven’t healed because of someone’s sin against us.
So yeah, I get why people feel like they can’t forgive...
...Because they can’t forget.
You may have heard the saying before that goes, “resentment is like drinking a poison and then waiting for the other person to die.”
Resentment and bitterness really do feel like poison.
You’ll be having a good day when all of a sudden you start thinking about that person who hurt you, and bitterness creeps in..
Suddenly, you’re no longer having a good day. You’re angry. You might even want them to hurt like they hurt you.
You have day dreams and real dreams of telling that person off, or getting back at them. It might feel good for a little bit, but it doesn’t actually bring peace to your soul.
Bitterness and peace do not coincide. It steals so much.
You hear their name and you are no longer present. Instead, you are remember all they did.
You see that your bitterness is clearly impacting your life negatively.
But that’s the thing.. it’s not hurting them.
They don’t have to take on your bitterness.
Doesn’t that makes you want to get through the resentment?
Don’t you want to be free from allowing them to have any more power over you?
Forgiveness is not easy. But forgiveness is what gets the poison of bitterness out of your body.
Maybe not quickly, but if you invite Jesus into the process, He will help transform your heart.
You shouldn’t be drinking the poison expecting it to hurt them.
You should get to move forward with your life in freedom.
After all, that’s what Jesus calls you to.
~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog