Unpopular Opinion: Date Nights are Not Essential for a Strong Marriage.


I don’t think I’ve read one book or listened to one podcast on marriage that didn’t emphasize the importance of having a regular date night.


I totally get it, and I personally love a good date night (although ours certainly aren’t regular).


But (unpopular opinion coming here), I genuinely do not agree that date nights are essential to have a strong marriage...


I also don’t think date nights are what will create a strong marriage.

Do I think good quality time is essential to having a strong marriage? Absolutely.


But I believe that intentional quality time can happen at your kitchen table eating dinner or playing cards.


It can happen as the two of you are doing dishes and cleaning up your house at the end of a long day.


It can happen side by side as you bathe your kiddos, or as you push them on swings at the park.


Quality time can happen really anytime, if you’re intentional with it.


A conversation with your phones put away, while you fold laundry together could actually feel more intentional than going to a movie or sitting on your phones while waiting for food to arrive at a restaurant (it’s okay, we all do it sometimes).


And I think that’s why I don’t buy the idea that a date night really changes much in a marriage...


Because intentionality is not found on a date.


...It shouldn’t be, at least.


Showing your spouse you are interested in their life shouldn’t only be found on a date, either.


It should be a part of your every day relationship.


I know date nights are fun, and if you have the means and ability to go on them, you should! Truly, why not go have some fun with your spouse?


I’m certainly not anti-date night.


But just know that the foundation of your marriage will need a heck of a lot more than a weekly date night if you want it to be a good one.


A marriage doesn’t just happen in the fun times out, it happens in the mundane.


It happens in the hard parts of life, too.


If you make the foundation of your marriage strong and honoring to God, a date night out will be a bonus.


But it won’t be essential to holding your marriage together.


Because you’ve already been doing that work to hold it together.


~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog

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