When Adult Friendships are Still Hard, and you Thought They’d be Easier.
I just assumed.
I just thought once you became an adult, maybe even with a family of your own, that friendships became easier.
I didn’t think adults experienced drama in friendships anymore.
I didn’t think they fought with friends.
I didn’t think adults would struggle with feeling left out or unwanted.
I didn’t think it would be so hard for some adults to make friends.
I guess I just kind of thought by the time you hit adulthood, this wasn’t as issue anymore.
Not like it was in middle school.
Or high school.
Yet, in the midst of friendships issues is exactly where many adults find themselves.
Some people still feel like they just don’t know how to connect with people.
Some people find their personality clashes with the friends around them.
Some people feel like they need to work hard to get the invite, otherwise they won’t get it.
Some people are constantly wondering how to set boundaries with friends who have no problem walking all over them.
Some people, some adults in this very moment, are feeling so heartbroken because of the friendships in their life.
I just assumed that stopped in adulthood.
I realize now that was a silly assumption to make.
Because any assumption that a relationship of any kind would be easy is not accurate.
Relationships take work. A lot of it.
And I think sometimes that’s why relationships struggle in adulthood.
Because people are busy and friendships still require time and nurturing and it can be really hard to do.
Or they struggle because they would rather have a friend who might not treat them the best, but it’s feels better than not having any friends at all.
Or because we bring our baggage with us into our relationships, so not one of them is going to be perfect.
There are a lot of reason why adult friendships are hard.
And it can really, really hurt.
The truth is, some friendships aren’t worth fighting for.
Not when we are constantly being hurt, belittled or just simply not cared for.
But even in the craziness of adulthood, some friendships are absolutely worth the fight.
They are worth the time and effort.
Because friends really are important. Crucial actually.
Even just a couple good, loyal ones.
It’s worth the work because they are worth the work.
But I think it’s important to remember that all relationships are going to have their tough spots.
And that grace is essential.
So if you find yourself in a hard place in a friendship, know that you aren’t alone.
Everyone goes through this.
But if your friend is worth the fight, I hope you’ll fight for them.
Because a good friend will be fighting for you, too.
~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog