• Kelli Bachara

You Can’t Fix Their Suffering, but You Can Stand with Them in the Darkness


I’ve watched and observed many people in the depths of the darkness.


Whether it’s been from a broken marriage, loneliness, grief and loss, mental health issues...


I’ve seen a lot of people at their darkest moments.


Yet, there are still times I just don’t know how to be there for someone.


Sometimes their big feelings seem so overwhelming, it often feels easier to avoid.


Ugh, I hate admitting that.


But I’ve learned through the last few years that God never calls us to turn our head away from those in pain. Even when it’s hard.


He also doesn’t call us to carry all their burdens or fix them.


He calls us to stand with people in the darkness.


Because the people standing in that kind of pain may have nothing else to cling to.


But when they stand in the darkness, they can at least look around and know they aren’t in it by themselves.

And sometimes, we can be exactly what they need to keep getting up and moving.

A familiar presence.


A loving, gentle voice saying “I’m here”.


Sometimes all someone needs is a consistent friend to keep showing up.

Not to fix them, just to be with them.


I know other people’s pain can feel scary.


But don’t let someone stand alone in the dark if you can help it.


They may try to push you out, and that’s ok.


Let them know you are ready and willing to enter in, and when they are ready, you’ll sit with them right smack dab in the middle of the pain.


Your presence might just bring a light with it that allows them to see more than just the darkness around them.


Your love might be what helps remind them of the love of God.

And your bravery to sit in the darkness with a friend shows them that they are worth it.


Sitting with someone is so underrated.


Our presence, and the comfort and love that comes with it, is so powerful.


Because through us God can work His healing.

But we can only be His vessel if we are willing to step in the darkness.


Take the pressure off yourself to fix.

It’s not yours to fix.


Just enter in and be you.


God sends us to bring our light into someone else’s darkness.


~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog

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