Updated: Oct 12, 2020
I see it all the time.
The person who's been able to fake "happiness" on their face for maybe their entire life, yet, is deeply aching on the inside.
You won't notice them unless you really look.
So, I encourage each of us to really look.
Look for the person with the pain behind the smile.
You'll see them.
You will start to see that the smile isn't all that authentic. You can hear it in their voice, and see it in their body that the smile is just a cover up.
You’ll notice they don't talk about deep things, and find ways around certain topics because it’s easier to pretend they aren’t hurt than admit what’s happened to them.
You’ll recognize that their "I don't care" attitude is actually a survival technique to make people keep their distance, even though they are so hungry for connection.
When you really look, you’ll notice them.
Because honestly? These people are everywhere.
There are so many people walking around this earth with hidden pain.
I'd be willing to guess even people in each of our lives, that we may not even be aware of.
So we need to LOOK. With our eyes and with our soul, and with the guidance of Jesus.
Because what if we could be the person who was patient enough to stand with someone who has been deeply hurting, in secret, for years?
Even in their silence? Even though it may take awhile?
There is a good chance that what they need is a place to come and just be. We could be that place.
What you'll find is that as you become safer to them, their walls will begin to crumble.
Little by little they will start to share. Maybe not even intentionally. Thoughts and feelings will pour out of their mouth without them even realizing it.
It’ll start slow.
With time, you’ll see a whole new side to them. You’ll see and hear the pain that they've buried deep down. But you’ll also see the other parts of them that have been hidden, too.
And you might just have the difficult but beautiful honor of holding space for their pain and their healing.
You’ll get out your flashlight, grab their hand, and together look around in the darkness. It'll be hard, but they'll also feel braver knowing they aren't alone.
You never know, you may be the first person who ever took the time to care about what’s hidden in them.
I'm not telling you to fix them, because you can’t. But you can point them to the real Healer.
God did not place us on this earth so that we could spend our life just tending to, and thinking about ourselves.
We are here to help others. We are here to bring our light into their darkness.
He can use you as a vessel to be a part of their healing.
He will help you see the pain behind the smile.
Don't ever underestimate how God can use you. And make sure you are listening to the stirring inside of you that is highlighting someone in your life who might be hurting.
Because that stirring is probably right.
~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog