• Kelli Bachara

Sometimes What is Keeping us Suffering... is Ourselves.

Updated: Oct 6


There is no way around it, pain is inevitable in this life.

No matter how hard you try to distract from it or stuff it down.


It will pop up one way or the other.


And the truth is that the only way through pain is.. well, through it.


We need to feel the hurt and discomfort to get to the other side.


But sometimes we get ourselves stuck, and we don’t get to the other side.


What I mean is, sometimes we continue to suffer because of what we are doing to ourselves.

We keep doing destructive behaviors, or keep living in a negative thought process, and we don’t allow ourselves to actually heal.


I know it’s hard to hear, but sometimes it’s not our pain keeping us stuck.. it’s us.


Like when we keep looking at our exes social media even though it constantly feels like a punch to the gut.


Or when we have all these good things in our life but focus all our attention and energy on the one thing we don’t have.


Or ruminating on the past and how different life could be now even though there is no way we can change what happened.


Or continuing the behaviors that we know always make us feel worse but give us a momentary feeling of relief.


Or how we keep going back to toxic things and people.


Or waiting until we “feel better” to start taking steps forward.. when in reality we probably won’t feel better until we start taking some steps forward.


You get the point.

I am all about sitting in and acknowledging the pain we are feeling. We have to.


But my goodness, I also know what it’s like to keep yourself stuck in suffering.

At some point we have to ask ourself if we are choosing to suffer.


And if so, why?


Why do we keep doing the things that we know will bring grief, doubt, insecurities, shame and regret?


Remember, the only way out is through.


So make sure you aren’t the one blocking the road out.

Take a minute to examine how your own thoughts, behaviors and beliefs are keeping you trapped.


Freedom is available to you, friend.


All of life doesn’t have to feel like suffering.


It might take getting some professional help, and it will certainly take the grace is God.


But this life is short and we have some choices to make.


I pray you’ll choose to care for yourself enough to work on the things keeping you stuck.

You deserve more.


~Kelli Bachara, The Unraveling Blog

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